Please read the entire document, check the box to agree, and submit to become a member of Bozeman Polyamory and have access to all of our members-only events!
Bozeman Polyamory Code of Conduct
The purpose of this group is to provide a safe and nurturing environment for conversation, community building, and sharing wisdom among polyamorous, poly-curious, or otherwise ethically non-monogamous people and their partners-regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, relationship status, or level of relationship experience. Bozeman Polyamory (BP) shall meet in-person as well as interact online. While we certainly will allow opportunities for socializing and networking, the purpose is not centered around dating and meeting new partners.
Core Values & Principles
The following are values and principles that underlie the group and its activities. Violations of the principles may result in removal from the group.
Explicit consent: All members are held to a high standard of explicit verbal consent for any physical contact with other individuals, as well as any verbal remarks. Consent needs to be obtained for all instigation of touch.
While enthusiastic consent is something we should all strive for, please be aware that “affirmative consent” does not meet that standard. It means if you say “Okay,” that is verbal consent. Please learn to use the word “No” if you do not really want to participate. If you have trouble telling people “No,” there are resources online to help you learn this important practice. Also note, silence is not “Yes”. If a person freezes or your request is met with silence, it is a “No” and the activity should not be pursued.
Be prepared to ask for consent, to give it, to refuse it, and to take a refusal gracefully.
Respect for Privacy
It is vitally important that people not intentionally or accidentally “out” other members of the community. Non-monogamous people can face job loss, legal complications, and rejection by friends and family. We do not discuss members of BP with people outside of the group, and we do not share information about events or people attending events unless it’s as part of the process of bringing in a new member.
Ethics and values are personal: It is often said that “there are as many definitions of poly as there are poly people.” We are here to learn and share in equal measure. We are respectful of other people’s values, politics, tastes, and so-on. We encourage questions, avoid judgment, and do not welcome name-calling, shaming, hate speech or other abusive communications or actions.
We are responsible to each other and ourselves: BP members are responsible for their own experiences. If there’s an event or experience you want, you are responsible for making it happen either by yourself or with others. The admins serve primarily to manage the group; any member can and should feel free to initiate new events, activities, or discussions. BP members are also responsible guests; cleaning up after themselves, following house rules, and respecting hosts of events.
Anyone 18 years of age or older can join by visiting BozemanPolyamory.org/Join, viewing this document, and agreeing that you have read and understood it.
The Bozeman Polyamory Facebook group is “closed,” which means anyone can find the group and see who the members are, but only BP members can see the content. This means that you make the conscious decision to be seen online in a group associated with polyamory. If you are concerned about absolute secrecy we encourage you to seek out the Big Sky Poly People secret group (email Info@BozemanPolyamory.org for information on how to join).
The Meetup group is also public. Anyone can join but must be an approved BP member to see existing members.
A note on private messaging: We do not have specific rules around whether, when, or how to send a private message to another group member on Facebook. However, if a person responds by asking you not to private message them anymore, it is considered a consent violation if you continue to private message them.
Post with the best of intentions. If a post can be read in a way that is distressing, step back and read it again assuming the best possible intentions of the poster. Personal attacks of any kind are unacceptable. Disrespectful or vulgar postings will be removed and the user will be contacted by a moderator. Do not post in a way that invalidates people’s personal experiences. You are not required to agree with their interpretation of the experience, but you should not post in a way that says their experience is not valid for them. Be empathetic.
We are inclusive. We do not tolerate racist, sexist, homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, disablist, ageist, or otherwise, exclusionary language, including, but not limited to, any and all forms of shaming, erasure, and victim-blaming.
This community deals with sexuality and adult themes. Some posts may be Not Safe for Work (and/or kids). When posting, please mark nudity or sexually explicit content as NSFW and consider removing the thumbnail or posting the NSFW content only in the comments, where it is less likely to show up on a member’s newsfeed.
Respect the Privacy of other members and never share identifiable information outside this group. This applies to photographs of members or posted by members in the group. (No Tagging)
Events are important to the health of the group and you are encouraged to create your own! Sponsor a game night, host an outdoor activity, suggest a movie viewing, throw a party at your favorite venue, or just invite everyone to your favorite bar. This code of conduct applies to all events.
If you bring a non-member to one of these events, you are considered that persons “sponsor” and are expected to have them agree to this code and answer any questions prior to the event.
Individuals who have been banned from BP may not attend events created within BP but may be present at events that are linked through the group.
Potential Disciplinary Actions
There are a variety of actions that the admins can take if you violate one of the group rules or principles. Some examples of disciplinary actions include, but are not limited to:
- Verbal/written warning;
- Temporary (short-term) ban from posting for a specified period of time, or;
- Permanent ban from the group
This is a list of potential actions, but it is not limited to this list. You may also be subject to disciplinary actions for reasons not listed here, at the discretion of the admins.
Reporting an Issue
This group takes reports of violations seriously, so please report any issues to Info@BozemanPolyamory.org. Reports will be discussed by the admin team until a resolution is reached.